真理，永遠比舒服重要｜Truth Is More Important Than Comfort
一位牧者最大的掙扎｜The Ongoing Struggle of a Pastor
每一次預備講道，我都會問自己一個問題：我究竟希望成為一位怎樣的牧者？ 剛開始事奉時，我以為，一位好的牧者，就是一位懂得鼓勵人的牧者。我希望弟兄姊妹每一次離開教會，都能夠比來的時候更有力量、更有盼望。後來，隨著自己讀神學、開始講道、投入牧養，我又曾經以為，一位好的牧者，就是一位勇於指出問題的牧者，不逃避罪，也不因人的期待而淡化真理。
然而，這幾年，我愈來愈覺得，這兩個答案都不完整。約翰形容耶穌時，沒有說祂充充滿滿地有鼓勵，也沒有說祂充充滿滿地有責備，而是說：「道成了肉身，住在我們中間，充充滿滿地有恩典、有真理。」（約一14）這節經文慢慢改變了我對牧養的理解，因為真正的牧養，不是在鼓勵和責備之間尋找一個技巧上的平衡，也不是按不同場合決定今天應該多講恩典還是多講真理，而是學習越來越像基督。
因為在祂身上，恩典與真理從來不是彼此競爭的兩端，真理沒有削弱恩典，恩典也沒有犧牲真理；兩者同時存在，並且共同顯明神的性情。這也使我逐漸明白，一位成熟的牧者，不是因為懂得講一些令人舒服的話，也不是因為勇於指出問題，而是因為他願意先讓神的話塑造自己，然後忠心地陪伴神的百姓一同被真理塑造。
Every time I prepare a sermon, I find myself returning to the same question: What kind of pastor do I want to become? When I first entered ministry, I believed that a good pastor was someone who knew how to encourage people. I wanted those who came to worship to leave with renewed strength, deeper hope, and greater confidence in God. As the years passed through theological training, preaching, and pastoral ministry, I gradually came to believe that a faithful pastor was someone who was willing to confront difficult realities, name sin honestly, and refuse to soften the truth simply because people preferred something easier to hear.
Yet over time I have come to realise that neither of those answers is complete. When John describes Jesus, he does not say that Christ was full of encouragement, nor does he present Him merely as someone who was bold in confronting sin. Instead, he writes that “the Word became flesh and dwelt among us… full of grace and truth” (John 1:14). That verse has quietly reshaped my understanding of pastoral ministry because faithful ministry is not about balancing encouragement with correction; it is about becoming more like Christ Himself.
In Jesus, grace never weakens truth, and truth never diminishes grace. The two belong together because both reveal the character of God. The longer I serve, the more I realise that the goal of pastoral ministry is not to become a better motivator or a sharper critic, but to become a servant who first allows the Word of God to shape his own life before walking faithfully with others as they are shaped by that same truth.
我們真的只需要更多「正面」嗎？｜Do We Really Need More Positivity?
只是，我也開始留意到，今天無論在教會、家庭，甚至整個社會，「正面」似乎已經成為一種很少人敢質疑的價值。當有人分享自己的傷痛，很快便有人安慰他：「不要再想那些負面的事情了。」當有人分析一個家庭、一間教會，甚至一個群體長久累積的問題，也常有人提醒：「多看神的恩典吧，不要一直說那些負面的東西。」我相信，大部分這樣的說話都是出於善意，因為沒有人希望教會充滿埋怨，也沒有人希望弟兄姊妹一直停留在傷害裡。
然而，我慢慢開始思想一個更根本的問題：神是否也是這樣建立祂的百姓？神是否透過避開那些令人不舒服的真相，來建立人的信心？ 如果答案是肯定的，那麼整本聖經應該充滿成功的故事、屬靈英雄的見證，以及一頁又一頁令人振奮的信息，那些失敗、羞辱、衝突和罪惡，大概都會被淡化，甚至被刪去。
然而，事實恰恰相反。聖經從來沒有試圖保護我們對自己的想像，也沒有刻意維護一個完美群體的形象，因為神真正關心的，不是我們是否一直感覺良好，而是我們是否願意在祂面前活得真實。
One observation has stayed with me over the years: whether in the church, within families, or in society more broadly, positivity has become an almost unquestioned virtue. When someone shares a painful experience, our instinct is often to reassure them by saying, “Don’t dwell on the negative.” When someone raises concerns about unhealthy patterns within a family or a church, the response may quickly become, “Let’s focus on God’s blessings instead.” Most of these responses come from good intentions because none of us wants people to become cynical or churches to be consumed by criticism.
Yet I have increasingly found myself asking a more fundamental question: Is this really how God forms His people? Does God strengthen faith by steering us away from uncomfortable realities? If that were true, Scripture would read very differently. It would be filled almost entirely with stories of triumph, faithful heroes, and uninterrupted victories, while failure, shame, conflict, and sin would quietly disappear from its pages.
Instead, the Bible does precisely the opposite. It refuses to protect our illusions about ourselves or present an idealised community because God is ultimately less concerned with preserving our comfort than with leading us into truth.
聖經從來沒有美化人的故事｜Scripture Never Sanitises the Human Story
如果一本宗教經典是由人編寫，我相信作者一定會盡量美化自己的民族、美化自己的領袖，也美化自己的歷史。我們很少會主動把祖先最羞愧的一面公開記錄，更不會把屬靈領袖一再失敗的故事完整保存下來。
然而，聖經卻完全不是這樣。亞伯拉罕說謊、雅各欺騙、摩西發怒、大衛犯罪、彼得三次不認主、門徒在耶穌受難時四散逃跑，就連初代教會的分裂、淫亂和彼此訴訟，也都毫無保留地記錄下來。甚至，以色列亡國這段足以摧毀民族自豪感的歷史，也沒有被刪去。
我曾經想，神為甚麼要這樣做？後來，我愈來愈相信，不是因為神喜歡揭露人的失敗，而是因為祂是真理的神。祂寧願人面對真相，也不要人活在一個被粉飾過的故事裡，因為謊言即使令人舒服，也不能真正拯救人；只有真理，才能真正帶來醫治。
因此，聖經首先不是一本讓人感覺良好的書，也不是一本專門責備人的書，而是一本真實的書。它真實地描寫人的敗壞，也真實地見證神的信實；它沒有隱藏傷口，卻讓人看見神如何在傷口之中施行救恩。
If religion were merely a human invention, we would expect its sacred writings to protect the reputation of its heroes. We would celebrate our greatest leaders, minimise their failures, and quietly remove the stories that make us uncomfortable.
Yet Scripture does exactly the opposite. Abraham lies, Jacob deceives, Moses loses his temper, David commits adultery, Peter denies Christ, the disciples flee in fear, and even the early church is portrayed with all its divisions, immorality, and conflict. The collapse of Israel and Judah, events that shattered the nation’s pride, is not hidden from the biblical record.
For many years I wondered why God chose to tell His story this way. Gradually I came to realise that it is because God is the God of truth. He would rather lead His people into reality than leave them inside a carefully polished illusion. A lie may comfort us for a moment, but it can never heal us. Only truth has the power to do that.
That is why the Bible is neither a book designed merely to make us feel better nor a book written simply to condemn us. It is, before anything else, a truthful book—honest about human brokenness, honest about God’s faithfulness, and honest about the way His redeeming grace meets us precisely where we are most broken.
真正的問題，不是樂觀，而是忠於神的啟示｜The Real Issue Is Not Optimism, but Faithfulness to God’s Revelation
這也是為甚麼，每一次讀到耶利米書，我都覺得它對今天的教會仍然有很大的提醒。很多時候，我們容易把真假先知的分別理解成一個比較悲觀，一個比較樂觀；然而，若仔細閱讀耶利米書，便會發現事情並不是如此。神責備假先知，從來不是因為他們的信息太正面，而是因為他們把自己的期待、自己的判斷，甚至百姓最想聽見的說話，當成神的啟示向百姓宣講。
神藉著耶利米說：「我沒有打發那些先知，他們竟自奔跑；我沒有對他們說話，他們竟自預言。」（耶二十三21）到了耶利米書二十八章，哈拿尼雅公開宣告兩年之內巴比倫的軛便會折斷；然而，神早已藉耶利米宣告，猶大將服事巴比倫七十年（耶二十五11–12；二十九10）。哈拿尼雅真正的問題，不是因為他講了鼓勵人的話，而是因為他把神沒有說過的話，說成神的話；他的盼望，不是建立在神的啟示之上，而是建立在人對未來的期待之上。
然而，耶利米的信息也從來沒有停留在審判。他宣告七十年的管教，同時也宣告七十年之後神必眷顧祂的百姓；他宣告耶路撒冷將要傾覆，也同時宣告神將與祂的百姓另立新約，把律法寫在人的心裡。真正的先知不是沒有盼望，而是拒絕廉價的盼望；真正的盼望，不是否認黑暗，而是在黑暗裡仍然相信神的信實。正因如此，聖經從來沒有叫我們在正面與負面之間作選擇，而是呼召我們忠於神的啟示，因為只有建立在真理之上的盼望，才是真正能夠支撐生命的盼望。
This is why I find the book of Jeremiah so profoundly relevant to the church today. It is easy to assume that the difference between the true prophets and the false prophets was simply that one group sounded pessimistic while the other sounded optimistic. Yet a careful reading of Jeremiah reveals that this was never the real issue. God did not condemn the false prophets because they spoke words of comfort; He condemned them because they confused their own desires, their own judgments, and the expectations of the people with the very voice of God.
Through Jeremiah, the Lord declared, “I did not send these prophets, yet they ran; I did not speak to them, yet they prophesied” (Jeremiah 23:21). In Jeremiah 28, Hananiah confidently announced that Babylon’s yoke would be broken within two years, while Jeremiah remained faithful to what God had already revealed—that Judah would serve Babylon for seventy years (Jeremiah 25:11–12; 29:10). Hananiah’s greatest failure was not that he spoke hopeful words, but that he claimed divine authority for promises God had never made. His optimism rested on human expectation rather than divine revelation.
Yet Jeremiah himself was never a prophet without hope. The same prophet who proclaimed seventy years of exile also proclaimed seventy years later the faithfulness of God. The same prophet who announced judgment also spoke of a new covenant in which God’s law would be written upon the hearts of His people. That tension has become deeply significant to me over the years. A true prophet is not one who refuses to speak hope, but one who refuses to offer hope that God has not promised. Biblical hope does not deny darkness; it trusts God’s faithfulness in the midst of darkness. Scripture never asks us to choose between optimism and pessimism. It calls us to remain faithful to God’s revelation, because only hope rooted in truth is able to sustain God’s people.
傷口，並沒有因為沉默而消失｜Wounds Do Not Heal Simply Because We Stop Talking About Them
這份體會，並不是我單單從神學書裡學回來的，也是神在我的生命裡慢慢教導我的功課。
2007 至 2009 年間，我信主的頭幾年，我所屬的教會先後經歷了幾次重大的牧者離開事件。那幾年，教會受到很大的震盪，差不多一半我熟悉的弟兄姊妹，因著不同的原因離開了教會。有些人是因為失望，有些人是因為疲累，也有人實在承受不了那些衝擊。直到今天，我仍然記得那段日子帶來的失落，也記得很多熟悉的面孔，在短短幾年間一個一個消失。
回頭再看，我很慶幸，教會並沒有選擇假裝一切都沒有發生。我們沒有用一句「不要再提了」把傷口蓋住，也沒有用一句「要正面一點」取代彼此的聆聽。留下來的牧者、執事和弟兄姊妹，反而用了差不多三年的時間，一起悔改、一起禱告，也一起重新建立信任。那不是一次聚會、一篇講道，甚至一年半載便能完成的事情，而是一段漫長而且充滿眼淚的旅程。
往後幾年，教會慢慢重新站穩。直到大約十年後，教會的執事們主動聯絡當年帶領教會建堂、後來離開教會的牧者，誠意邀請他回來講道。我至今仍然覺得，最感動人的地方，不只是昔日的牧者再次站在講台，而是整間教會願意承認自己的歷史，也願意讓神醫治自己的歷史。我們沒有假裝那些事情沒有發生，也沒有刻意遺忘那些傷痛，而是在真相被承認之後，看見神一步一步把復和帶進人的生命。
今天回頭再看，我仍然不會說那些事情是好的，也不會希望任何教會再次經歷同樣的傷痛。然而，我愈來愈相信，神從來沒有浪費任何一個傷口。正正因為那場教會的「地震」，一班原本仍然年輕的領袖，包括我自己，都比原來更早學會承擔責任，更深體會牧養的重量，也更真實明白什麼是破碎、悔改、饒恕和復和。如果沒有那些經歷，我今天對教會、對恩典、甚至對十字架的理解，很可能都會完全不同。
This conviction did not come to me simply through theological study. It was also formed through the painful experiences of my own church.
Between 2007 and 2009, our church went through several significant pastoral transitions that deeply shook the congregation. Within only a few years, nearly half of the familiar faces I had worshipped alongside disappeared. Some left because they were deeply disappointed. Others were exhausted by the conflict. Still others simply could not bear the emotional weight of everything that had happened. Even today, I can still remember the grief of watching people whom I loved quietly leave, one after another.
Looking back, I am profoundly grateful that our church did not pretend nothing had happened. We did not cover our wounds with the words, “Let’s not talk about it anymore,” nor did we replace honest lament with superficial positivity. Instead, the pastors, deacons, and many faithful brothers and sisters committed themselves to a long journey of repentance, prayer, listening, and rebuilding trust. Healing did not come through a single sermon, a special meeting, or even within a single year. It unfolded slowly through years of humility, tears, and God’s patient work among His people.
In the years that followed, the church gradually regained its footing. Then, around 2018, our deacons reached out to the founding pastor who had once led the church through its building project but had later left under difficult circumstances, inviting him to return and preach. I still remember that service vividly. What moved me most was not simply seeing a former pastor stand behind the pulpit again, but witnessing an entire congregation willing to acknowledge its own history and allow God to redeem that history. We did not erase the past, nor did we pretend that the wounds had never existed. Instead, we watched God bring reconciliation precisely because the truth had first been honestly faced.
Looking back today, I would never describe those painful years as good, nor would I wish such suffering upon any church. Yet I have come to believe that God never wastes a wound. It was through that season of upheaval that many younger leaders, myself included, were forced to mature more quickly, shoulder greater responsibility, and learn firsthand what repentance, forgiveness, reconciliation, and pastoral care truly look like. Without those painful years, my understanding of the church, of grace, and even of the cross itself would be profoundly different.
十字架：神從來沒有逃避黑暗｜The Cross: God Never Avoids the Darkness
每一次回想那段經歷，我最後總會想到十字架。
我愈來愈相信，整本聖經最「負面」的一幕，其實就是十字架。如果神只是希望建立人的信心，祂完全可以選擇另一條路。祂可以讓基督直接得榮耀，而不需要客西馬尼園的掙扎；祂可以直接宣告復活，而不需要經歷死亡；祂甚至可以讓門徒一直忠心，而不需要彼得三次不認主，不需要猶大出賣主，也不需要所有門徒四散逃跑。然而，神沒有這樣做。
祂沒有避開黑暗，也沒有掩飾人的罪。祂讓人的背叛、宗教的虛偽、政治的暴力、群眾的盲目，以及人性最深的敗壞，全都赤裸裸地呈現在十字架上。從人的角度來看，十字架是一場徹底的失敗，是公義被踐踏、真理被拒絕、良善被釘死，也是門徒所有盼望瞬間崩潰的一刻。若有人只停留在受難日，他很自然會認為，這是整個福音故事最黑暗、最令人絕望的一頁。
然而，神並沒有把這一頁從歷史中刪去。祂沒有用另一個比較容易接受的故事取代十字架，也沒有讓人忘記那一天所發生的一切。相反，祂選擇在十字架上完成救恩，在人的罪惡最深之處彰顯祂的慈愛，在世界最黑暗的時刻顯明祂的榮耀。原來，福音從來不是把黑暗否定，也不是把黑暗粉飾，而是神親自進入黑暗，把黑暗轉化成救恩的起點。
Every time I reflect on those years, my thoughts eventually lead me back to the cross.
I have gradually come to believe that the darkest moment in all of Scripture is the crucifixion of Jesus Christ. If God’s highest priority had been to preserve people’s confidence or protect their emotions, He could have chosen a very different path. Christ could have entered His glory without Gethsemane. Resurrection could have come without death. Peter could have remained courageous, Judas could have remained faithful, and the disciples could have stood firmly beside their Lord instead of fleeing in fear.
But God chose none of those paths.
Instead, He allowed human betrayal, religious hypocrisy, political injustice, public hatred, and the full depth of human sinfulness to converge at the cross. From every human perspective, the cross looked like complete failure. Justice appeared defeated. Truth appeared silenced. Goodness seemed to have been nailed to a Roman execution stake. For the disciples, every hope they had cherished seemed to collapse in a single afternoon.
Yet God never removed that chapter from the story.
He did not replace it with a more inspiring narrative, nor did He minimise its pain. Instead, He accomplished redemption through it. At the very place where human sin appeared most powerful, God’s love was revealed most completely. The gospel is therefore not God’s denial of darkness, nor His attempt to make darkness appear less painful. The gospel is God’s decision to enter our darkness and transform it into the beginning of redemption.
復活沒有抹去十字架，反而保留了傷痕｜The Resurrection Did Not Erase the Cross
有一段經文，近年一直深深觸動我。
耶穌復活之後，多馬仍然不相信其他門徒所說的話。他說，除非親眼看見耶穌手上的釘痕，又用手探入祂的肋旁，否則他絕不相信。令人驚訝的是，當耶穌向多馬顯現時，祂並沒有責備多馬先去看看祂復活的大能，也沒有把自己釘十字架的痕跡抹去。相反，祂對多馬說：「伸過你的指頭來，摸我的手；伸出你的手來，探入我的肋旁。」（約二十27）
復活並沒有把十字架刪除。
榮耀也沒有把傷痕抹去。
復活的主，仍然帶著釘痕。
神並沒有叫人忘記十字架，而是讓十字架成為永遠的記號；祂沒有把傷口變成不存在，而是把傷口變成恩典的見證。那些曾經代表羞辱、失敗和死亡的傷痕，如今卻成為門徒認出復活主的記號，也成為歷世歷代教會宣講福音的中心。
我愈來愈覺得，神工作的方式一直都是如此。
祂不是叫我們假裝沒有受傷，也不是叫我們急著忘記那些令人痛苦的經歷。祂邀請我們誠實地面對傷口，然後在祂的恩典裡，看見那些傷口如何慢慢成為見證。很多時候，神並沒有把我們生命中的每一道傷痕拿走，但祂卻讓那些傷痕，不再只是痛苦的記號，而是祂信實同行的證據。
One passage of Scripture has stayed with me in a particularly profound way over the past few years.
After Jesus rose from the dead, Thomas refused to believe the testimony of the other disciples. He insisted that unless he saw the nail marks in Jesus’ hands and placed his own hand into His wounded side, he could not believe. What has continually amazed me is that when Jesus finally appeared to Thomas, He did not erase those wounds. He did not invite Thomas to admire His resurrected glory while hiding every trace of the crucifixion. Instead, He said, “Put your finger here; see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it into my side.” (John 20:27)
That moment has reshaped the way of suffering and redemption.
The resurrection did not erase the cross.
Glory did not remove the scars.
The risen Christ still bore the wounds of His crucifixion.
God did not ask His people to forget the cross. Instead, He transformed the marks of suffering into eternal testimony. What had once symbolised shame, rejection, and death became the very evidence by which the disciples recognised their risen Lord and by which the Church continues to proclaim the gospel today.
The more I reflect on this, the more I realise that God often works in the same way within our own lives. He does not always remove every scar we carry, nor does He ask us to pretend those wounds never existed. Rather, He invites us to face them honestly and then allows His grace to transform them into reminders of His faithfulness. The scars remain, but they no longer speak only of pain; they begin to testify to the redeeming work of God.
真理，永遠比舒服重要｜Truth Is More Important Than Comfort
因此，我愈來愈相信，今天教會真正需要追求的，不是更多正面的話，也不是更多負面的話，而是更多忠於真理的話。當有人分享自己的傷口，我們不要急著叫他放下，而是先陪伴他走過；當教會需要反省自己的不足，我們不要急著維護自己的形象，而是願意讓神的話先光照我們；當神施恩醫治，我們也不要吝嗇宣告祂的恩典，因為真正的恩典，從來不是建立在否認真相之上，而是建立在真理之中。
保羅勉勵教會要「用愛心說誠實話」（弗四15）。這節經文常常被理解為「誠實地說話」，但原文的意思其實更豐富，它包含了活在真理裡、持守真理、實踐真理的意思。換句話說，真理不只是一句話，更是一種生命的態度；恩典也不只是溫柔，而是帶著愛，把人一步一步引向真理。因此，真理若沒有恩典，很容易變成傷害；恩典若離開真理，也很容易變成廉價的安慰。唯有恩典與真理同行，教會才能真正經歷更新，也唯有如此，我們才能越來越像基督。
所以，當我再次回到最初那個問題──我究竟希望成為一位怎樣的牧者？──今天，我的答案已經和剛開始事奉時很不一樣。我希望自己不是一位只會說人喜歡聽的話，也不是一位刻意說重話來證明自己忠於真理的人。我更盼望，在每一次講道、每一次牧養、每一次與人的同行裡，都能夠越來越像那位道成肉身的基督。
因為祂從來沒有用廉價的安慰取代真理，也沒有用冰冷的真理取代恩典；祂沒有逃避人的傷口，反而親自走進人的傷口；祂沒有掩飾世界的黑暗，反而在最深的黑暗裡帶來光明。祂充充滿滿地有恩典，也充充滿滿地有真理，而我相信，這也是每一位牧者，以及每一位跟隨基督的人，一生都要不斷學習的功課。
For this reason, I have become convinced that what the Church needs today is not simply more positive words, nor more critical words, but words that are faithful to the truth. When someone entrusts us with their wounds, our first responsibility is not to silence their pain but to walk patiently with them through it. When the church needs to examine its own weaknesses, our instinct should not be to protect our reputation but to allow the Word of God to search our hearts. And when God brings healing, we should proclaim His grace without hesitation, because true grace is never built upon the denial of reality but upon the truth that sets people free.
Paul exhorts the Church to “speak the truth in love” (Ephesians 4:15). The original expression reaches beyond truthful speech alone; it describes a life shaped by truth, lived in truth, and expressed through love. Truth, therefore, is not merely something we say. It is something we inhabit. Grace is not sentimental kindness detached from reality, but God’s loving commitment to lead His people into truth. Truth without grace easily becomes harshness, while grace without truth quickly degenerates into cheap comfort. Only when grace and truth remain together does the Church become a community that genuinely reflects Christ.
When I return, then, to the question that has accompanied me through every season of ministry—What kind of pastor do I want to become?—my answer today is very different from the one I would have given years ago. I no longer aspire merely to be someone who encourages people, nor do I wish to become someone who prides himself on speaking hard truths. My deepest prayer is that, in every sermon I preach, every conversation I have, and every person I am privileged to shepherd, I would become a little more like the incarnate Christ.
He never replaced truth with sentimental comfort, nor did He separate truth from grace. He entered our wounds instead of avoiding them, and He brought light into the deepest darkness rather than pretending it did not exist. He came full of grace and truth, and I have come to believe that learning to reflect that same Christ is the lifelong calling not only of every pastor, but of every disciple who desires to follow Him faithfully.
Pastor Antony
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