第三課｜認識自己，建立真誠關係
Session 3 | Knowing Yourself, Building Authentic Relationships
核心思想｜Big Idea
神塑造生命，總是先從人的內心開始。
God shapes our lives by first transforming the heart.
「神啊，求你鑒察我，知道我的心思；試煉我，知道我的意念。」（詩篇 139:23–24）
“Search me, O God, and know my heart… Test me and know my anxious thoughts.” (Psalm 139:23–24, NIV)
引言｜Introduction
當我們開始與弟兄姊妹同行，陪伴別人成長時，很自然會留意一個人的表現。他是否穩定聚會？是否願意分享？是否開始服侍？是否比以前成熟？這些觀察並沒有錯，但若牧養只停留在外在表現，我們很容易把焦點放在改變行為，而忽略了生命真正需要被更新的地方。
聖經卻不斷把我們帶回人的內心。神工作的起點，不是人的表現，而是人的心。真正的生命改變，也不是從外在開始，而是從內心開始。（撒上16:7；箴4:23）
When we begin walking alongside others, our attention is naturally drawn to what we can see. We notice whether someone attends regularly, participates in discussion, serves faithfully, or appears more mature than before. These observations are important, but if shepherding remains focused only on outward behaviour, we may overlook where true transformation begins.
Scripture consistently leads us back to the heart. God begins His work not with outward performance but with the inner life. Genuine transformation always starts from within. (1 Samuel 16:7; Proverbs 4:23)
神看重人的內心｜God Looks at the Heart
神對撒母耳說：「人是看外貌；耶和華是看內心。」（撒上16:7）人很容易從表現去認識一個人，神卻先看人的內心。
撒瑪利亞婦人最大的問題，不是她曾經有五個丈夫，而是她一直在人生裡尋找一份不能真正滿足她的愛和安全感。（約4:7–26）因此，耶穌沒有急著責備她，反而先與她對話，引導她慢慢認識自己，也認識真正能賜生命活水的主。（約4:10–18）
彼得三次否認耶穌，是眾人都看得見的失敗。（約18:15–27）復活後，耶穌卻沒有先追問他的失敗，只是三次問他：「你愛我嗎？」（約21:15–17）當彼得重新回應這份愛，耶穌才把牧養群羊的使命交給他。（約21:15–19）
神沒有忽略人的行為，但祂總是先更新人的內心，因為真正的生命改變，總是從心開始。
“People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” (1 Samuel 16:7) People often define others by what they see. God begins with the heart.
The Samaritan woman’s deepest need was not her broken relationships but the longing for love and security she had never truly found. (John 4:7–26) Jesus did not begin with condemnation. He began with conversation, leading her to discover both herself and the living water only He could give. (John 4:10–18)
Peter’s denial was obvious to everyone. (John 18:15–27) Yet after the resurrection, Jesus did not begin by asking about Peter’s failure. Three times He simply asked, “Do you love Me?” (John 21:15–17) Only after restoring Peter’s heart did Jesus entrust him with the care of His flock. (John 21:15–19)
God does not ignore behaviour, but He always begins by renewing the heart, for genuine transformation always starts within.
請看看這張圖｜Looking at the Diagram
冰山露出水面的部分，只佔整體很小的一部分。人的生命也是如此，我們最容易看見的是行為，但行為背後還有情緒、感受、信念、期待、價值觀，以及一個人如何看待自己。
一位組員突然沉默，可能不是因為冷漠；一位組員容易生氣，也不一定只是脾氣不好；一位組員抗拒服侍，背後可能不是懶惰，而是曾經受傷、失去信心，或者害怕再次失敗。
冰山模型不是新的真理，而是幫助我們用圖像明白一個聖經一直教導的原則：神一直看的，不只是人的行為，而是人的心。（撒上16:7）
The visible part of an iceberg is only a small portion of what lies beneath the surface. People are much the same. Behaviour is what we notice first, but beneath it are emotions, beliefs, expectations, values, and the way a person understands themselves.
A quiet member may not be indifferent. An angry member may not simply have a bad temper. Someone who refuses to serve may not be lazy but carrying past wounds, disappointment, or fear.
The Satir Iceberg is not presenting a new truth. It simply illustrates what Scripture has taught all along: God looks beyond behaviour and sees the heart. (1 Samuel 16:7)
再看看這張圖｜Looking at the Next Diagram
冰山幫助我們明白，一個人的生命往往比我們看見的更深；周哈里窗則提醒我們，有些生命的部分，需要透過神所預備的群體和關係，我們才會慢慢看見。（箴27:17；弗4:15–16）
有些事情，自己知道，別人也知道；有些地方，別人早已看見，我們自己卻一直沒有察覺；有些感受，一直收藏在心裡，不願向人分享；也有一些生命的角落，需要神透過時間和群體慢慢光照。
因此，真正的生命成長，不只是更多認識自己，也是在值得信任的關係裡，願意彼此提醒、彼此鼓勵，一起跟隨基督成長。
健康的小組，不是每一個人都很完美，而是一個願意彼此信任、彼此建立，並一起成長得更像基督的群體。（弗4:15–16）真正的真誠，不是毫無保留，而是在值得信任的群體裡，願意按著合宜的方式彼此敞開生命。
If the iceberg reminds us that there is always more beneath the surface, the Johari Window reminds us that some parts of our lives are only discovered as God works through Christian community and trusted relationships. (Proverbs 27:17; Ephesians 4:15–16)
Some parts of our lives are known to both ourselves and others. Some are easier for others to recognise than they are for ourselves. Some remain hidden because we are not yet ready to share them. Others become clear only as God continues His work in us.
Spiritual growth, therefore, is not only about knowing ourselves better. It is also about allowing God to use trusted relationships to encourage, challenge, and shape us into the likeness of Christ.
Healthy small groups are not communities of perfect people, but communities where believers trust one another, build one another up, and grow together into the likeness of Christ. (Ephesians 4:15–16) Authenticity does not mean telling everyone everything. It means learning to open our lives wisely within relationships where trust has been built.
結語｜Conclusion
生命真正開始改變，不是因為我們學會隱藏自己的軟弱，而是因為我們願意把生命帶到神面前，也帶進一個彼此信任的群體。
神樂意光照我們的內心，也常常透過弟兄姊妹彼此提醒、彼此扶持，使我們一天一天更像基督。（腓立比書1:6；以弗所書4:15–16）
當我們愈認識自己，也愈經歷神的恩典，就愈能以真誠的生命建立真誠的關係。
下一課，我們將繼續思想：信任並不是一夜之間建立，而是在一次又一次的同行中慢慢累積。我們會透過「相遇、結交、深交、知交」四個階段，一起學習如何建立能夠陪伴生命成長的關係。
True transformation begins not when we learn to hide our weaknesses, but when we bring our lives before God and into a community where trust can grow.
God delights in searching our hearts, and He often uses fellow believers to encourage, challenge, and shape us into the likeness of Christ. (Philippians 1:6; Ephesians 4:15–16)
As we grow in knowing ourselves and experiencing God’s grace, we become more able to build authentic relationships with others.
In the next session, we will explore how trust is built over time. Through the four stages of Meeting, Friendship, Deep Friendship, and Spiritual Friendship, we will learn how relationships grow as we faithfully walk alongside one another.
Reflection｜反思
今天神是否透過冰山模型和周哈里窗，讓你更認識自己的內心？有沒有一個情緒、信念或生命盲點，是神正在邀請你誠實面對的？
As you reflect on the Iceberg Model and the Johari Window, has God revealed something new about your heart? Is there an emotion, belief, or blind spot He is inviting you to face honestly?
Discussion｜討論
冰山模型提醒我們看見生命的深處，周哈里窗提醒我們需要群體的幫助。你認為這兩個圖像如何彼此配合，幫助一個人更真實地成長？
The Iceberg Model helps us understand the hidden depths of the heart, while the Johari Window reminds us that growth happens in community. How do these two models work together to help believers mature?
Practice｜實踐
本週找一位你信任的屬靈同伴，一起禱告，並分享一件你平日較少向別人提起的生命掙扎，同時邀請對方誠實分享一個他所看見，而你自己未必察覺的優點或盲點，並帶著禱告的心領受。
Meet this week with a trusted spiritual friend. Pray together and share one struggle you rarely talk about. Then invite them to lovingly share one strength or blind spot they see in your life, and bring what you hear before God in prayer.
沒有留言 :
發佈留言